


everyone be macking on dave

by soundofez



Series: SBURB Academie [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Bilious Slick's foot, Gen, almost literally AU actually, dave/jade if you squint super hard and turn your head precisely 295 degrees, meddlesome horrorterrors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-19
Updated: 2013-01-19
Packaged: 2017-11-26 00:59:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/644797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soundofez/pseuds/soundofez
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are AN INSIGNIFICANT HORRORTERROR. You are one of many. You have killed Dave so many times, it has developed into a habit BORDERING ON FETISHISTIC. You have to stop. But addiction is a powerful thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	everyone be macking on dave

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize in advance for wonky styling, but I'm afraid to say I can't do anything because wonky styling is closest to how I envisioned this stuff in my head.
> 
> And hey, everything's already cracked up to high heaven, might as well go all out.

oh nooo!

shit, its harley

i have to find a life student! jane! feferi! or maybe a sylph?  
oh, don't die, dave, please don't die!

c-

don't talk! uh, um, maybe kanaya could help—

calm down harley  
no need to mack on me so hard just message alpha me and we can deal with this

yeah, that's a good idea— wait, what??

nevermind  
just calm your tits and mosey on to class  
let the timey wimey kids take care of this

dave feferi will speak t0 y0u 0nce y0u pass 0n t0 the dream bubbles and t0ld me t0 pass 0n the message t0 my fell0w timey wimey kid  
y0u may expire n0w

aradia! daves hurt! you can help, right? dave will be 0kay i mean okay, wont he???

im a okay harley  
go play squiddles with rose and let aradia take care of this okay

d-dave???

there are now two coolkids here everything is completely out of control

you mean under control

shut up bro cant you see im busy dying you prick

ARADIA WHAT DID YOU DO??? D:

what d0 y0u mean

you just killed dave! :(

hey im still here

yes but this dave is dead!

he was dying anyway  
killing him was kinder than pr0l0nging his suffering

hey megido harleys sensitive okay leave her alone

im not sensitive!!  
im just  
:(

a spacey kid sure we get it harley

w-what are you doing?

stuffing this guy into the closet where he will rot and become a skeleton of course  
a little help, aradia?

i delivered y0ur message  
im leaving n0w  
0_0

yeah fine whatever ill just ring up some more daves  
hopefully they wont be doomed this time

...  
:( :( :(


End file.
